(Originally Posted 9/10/11)
I’m going to get a lot of shit for this, but I don’t really like Chuck Norris.
I’m sorry but I don’t get the fascination with him. He isn’t intimidating, he isn’t that good of an actor and Bruce Lee beat the shit out of him. Bruce Campbell will ALWAYS be the essential B-Movie badass, but I digress. I don’t HATE Norris, I do get enjoyment out of Walker: Texas Ranger (spoiler: he fights a bear). In my last review, I confessed my love for actor Billy Drago (squee!) and while researching something of his to review, I ran into this gem. Most know Billy from his role as Frank Nitti in The Untouchables, but probably his best acting role comes, ironically, from this movie. Yes, a Chuck Norris movie.
A Review by Kristen Dowd
Delta Force 2 is the sequel to 1986’s The Delta Force, which co-starred Lee Marvin of all people. Can’t tell you if the movies are in the same vein as I have not seen the first and probably never will. I’m strictly here for Drago, damn it. Norris returns as Col. Scott McCov; a take no shit, do what’s right no matter what anyone of authority says, superhero. You know, like every other Chuck Norris movie. DEA agents are taken hostage by brutal South American drug kingpin Ramon Cota (Drago) after a botched operation to send him up the river and it’s up to Chuck to get them out.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Chuckman! Same Chuck time, Same Chuck channel!
Norris and his partner, Maj. Bobby Chavez (Paul Perri), are called in to bring Cota to justice. They stage an hilarious sky-jacking, as they put it, with Norris throwing Cota out of the plane minus his parachute until jumping out to catch him. They bring Cota to court but due to a technicality, he is given an bail option and easily pays it off. Upon returning to his home, Bobby finds cops at his house. His son has been injured and his wife has been murdered. Sure that Cota is behind it, he knocks out Chuck and goes to find the bastard. But he’s taken away by friends undercover in Cota’s operation and told to go home before he is found out. But of course, Cota catches them and kidnaps them. He realizes one of his groupies has betrayed him and stabs him. He then throws Bobby into a gas chamber type thing he has in his office (bitching) and gases him to death. Bye not Chuck Norris! You will be missed.
Cota sends Chuck a tape of Bobby being killed and Walker: Texas Ranger loses his shit. We get a lovely training montage, which is just a bunch of guys lined up to get their asses kicked by Norris. After that, he and Gen. Taylor (John Ryan) have a heart to heart. Cota has threatened to kill the remaining DEA agents if he sees one American on his property. So Chuck decides to climb his way in, and have Gen. Taylor fly in to get him and the hostages out later. He’s aided by Quiquina Esquintla (Begonya Plaza), who has intense bad blood with Cota. Meanwhile Gen. Taylor is pigeon held by an annoying yes man working for the South American government. He is told he can’t go to meet Norris and is PISSED. But he’s like “Why don’t you shut the fuck up?” and goes anyway. Once inside Cota’s fortress, Chuck searches for the hostages. He finds them, sends them on ahead and goes to bitch slap Cota. He makes his way to his bedroom and runs into a lackey. They have a rap battle — no, I wish. They fight until Chuckman throws him onto to a conveniently placed staff sticking from a statue. Cota and more of his goons enter the room. They surround Chuck, call him names and Cota knocks him out with the butt of his gun.
Please, just do it
Chuck wakes up in the gas chamber thingy, with Cota doing the normal bad guy thing and bragging instead of just shooting the hero in the fucking head. While he monologues, Gen. Taylor blows the shit out of his house, sending him flying. Chuck manages to get his hands untied and with his last ounce of strength, kicks out the glass. Cota’s going to have to get his money back for that. Chuck makes a break for it with Cota over his shoulder. His goons try to stop them, but eventually Chuckles gets him to the helicopter. As they hang from the chopper, Cota talks shit about how he’s going to go do the same evil shit when he gets off in court again, but the rope he’s hanging on to snaps, sending him to his doom. We close on Cota flying through the sky with some extremely inappropriate upbeat music playing. Did Aaron Norris sing this too?
Seriously, can the movie just be about this guy? Please? He’s awesome
In conclusion, it isn’t God awful. It has some pretty good action, unintentional comedy and decent soundtrack. Plus Billy Drago and John Ryan are having so much fun in their roles. Check it out if it sounds like your cup of tea.